very odd feelings these days
feelings of security
happiness
joy
togetherness
coupledom
being wanted
being appreciated
being adored

things i am just sooo not used to

i think back to where i came from
from a marriage that sucked for years with a man who was an alcoholic and possibly bipolar
to an emotionally unavailable man for 3 years, because i figured no one would ever love me again
to a man who i thought was be all end all and turned out to be a lie
to a man who i thought i would be with forever because of the comfort level, but in reality he was just another 'broken wing' as gloria puts it
someone with issues that no one could have fixed

now have this man who is crazy about me and who is planning things in the future with me and i am too, and i have no doubts about any of it
like i said before i am going to ride this wave as long as i can
and i hope it lasts forever.
when do you realize that what you have in front of you is forever
when do you realize that what you have is magic

maybe you have to keep that in your heart every day, so that you remind yourself that he is in fact your magic
and this is the best i have ever felt in my life
how can that be?
i dont know
but i am so happy for it
and i am not letting go of this EVER