burts dad is here to help us get things done around the house this weekend, so far they have put up our cool house numbers that we bought in p-town in april, shimmed up the kitchen counter, secured the microwave, put in a cat door, and now they are working on hanging a basement door.
this is great, we should have him up 4 times a year just to get shit done!!
burt means well but he is easily diverted by many things. i love him, but it is true.
the weather has turned and it is no longer crazy hot these days
i love this weather.
i am trying to organize my stuff in the office, not making much headway, i would love to clear the space so if i wanted to work on jewelry, or painting, or mobiles or anything, i will be able to do it without wondering ....hmmm where will i set this up?
the rest of the day consists of dinner with burts dad and josh and greg and then maybe a fire in the fire pit.
tomorrow not much going on until band practice at 4 tomorrow afternoon.
i like weekends like these with out a huge adgenda.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
lets see..... what have i been up to
work. work. work. work. piles. piles. work. work.
but.... the weekend is on the way thank god!
i am so ready to not do this office work stuff anymore, but unfortunately i have to keep it up for another 7 years.... ugh!
but then.... watch out! i am outahere, well, just outathere... i hope... but not holding my breath.
team paragon (josh's robotics team) is back in full swing and i have joined the admin side since burt is a programming mentor, i figured what the hell, everyone else is there, i may as well go too. so there are some requirements that i need to get done with that...
and school started today so i am geared up for that stuff too... hoping for a good year with less effort on my part this time around
josh had his cardiologist appointment yesterday and everything looks normal, thank god.
allison is back up at uconn starting today, greg's school starts next week
i feel like i have a handle on most things but still not sleeping well and not happy about that at all.
listening to the neybas right now and it makes me happy. i hope that they play again soon, but i dont think they will.
my head spins thinking of what i need to do tomorrow.... i hope i sleep.
work. work. work. work. piles. piles. work. work.
but.... the weekend is on the way thank god!
i am so ready to not do this office work stuff anymore, but unfortunately i have to keep it up for another 7 years.... ugh!
but then.... watch out! i am outahere, well, just outathere... i hope... but not holding my breath.
team paragon (josh's robotics team) is back in full swing and i have joined the admin side since burt is a programming mentor, i figured what the hell, everyone else is there, i may as well go too. so there are some requirements that i need to get done with that...
and school started today so i am geared up for that stuff too... hoping for a good year with less effort on my part this time around
josh had his cardiologist appointment yesterday and everything looks normal, thank god.
allison is back up at uconn starting today, greg's school starts next week
i feel like i have a handle on most things but still not sleeping well and not happy about that at all.
listening to the neybas right now and it makes me happy. i hope that they play again soon, but i dont think they will.
my head spins thinking of what i need to do tomorrow.... i hope i sleep.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
it is amazing how just writing how i feel about something really 'gets it off my chest' and i feel that i have dealt with it, at least for now.
i go thru spurts of wanting to write.
sometimes it is poetry and sometimes (most times) it is just ranting about what i am feeling and what i am going thru.
school starts in two days, and i am aprehensive knowing what we went thru last year.
i hope that he is more mature and takes things more seriously
but i have to be prepared for him not to be.
and that sucks for me
we go school shopping for binders etc tonight. next week all the meetings start up again and then life is as hectic as it always was.
have to mindfully keep making the best of the weekends so that they feel like time off.
i go thru spurts of wanting to write.
sometimes it is poetry and sometimes (most times) it is just ranting about what i am feeling and what i am going thru.
school starts in two days, and i am aprehensive knowing what we went thru last year.
i hope that he is more mature and takes things more seriously
but i have to be prepared for him not to be.
and that sucks for me
we go school shopping for binders etc tonight. next week all the meetings start up again and then life is as hectic as it always was.
have to mindfully keep making the best of the weekends so that they feel like time off.
Friday, August 20, 2010
going to the cape this weekend
i cant wait to see it, smell it, be in it!
it sounds crazy but it is really like home away from home for me.
there is something about the way the sun hits the trees and the water, the way the breeze smells, there is no place on earth like it... or at least no place i have ever been before.
it is not so much the fact that it is near the ocean, the narrow land that we stand on between the sea and the bay... there are lots of place that are like that.
it is the fact that i 'know' it there. i am comfortable there and things are soothing to me there.
we will stay with sally in eastham and i look forward to seeing her.
we will most certainly get my oyster stew at the bookstore restaurant in wellfleet
and we will stop in galleries and look at the beautiful art that we cannot afford and be calm while we walk thru the rooms gazing at beautiful things and paintings.
i look forward to being alone with burt and not being at the house. we have had lots of time alone this summer while josh was away, but we always had things to do.... bills to pay, yard work to do, etc etc etc
this will be nice to just have nothing special to do for two days.
i cant wait to see it, smell it, be in it!
it sounds crazy but it is really like home away from home for me.
there is something about the way the sun hits the trees and the water, the way the breeze smells, there is no place on earth like it... or at least no place i have ever been before.
it is not so much the fact that it is near the ocean, the narrow land that we stand on between the sea and the bay... there are lots of place that are like that.
it is the fact that i 'know' it there. i am comfortable there and things are soothing to me there.
we will stay with sally in eastham and i look forward to seeing her.
we will most certainly get my oyster stew at the bookstore restaurant in wellfleet
and we will stop in galleries and look at the beautiful art that we cannot afford and be calm while we walk thru the rooms gazing at beautiful things and paintings.
i look forward to being alone with burt and not being at the house. we have had lots of time alone this summer while josh was away, but we always had things to do.... bills to pay, yard work to do, etc etc etc
this will be nice to just have nothing special to do for two days.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
so i have been thinking these days about the way my life has turned.... for the better.
i think if how i was when i was married, always walking on egg shells and wondering what would happen next in my life. always hoping for a calm normal day or night and never having one.... ever
i think of how it was when i dated zeke and how much i wanted us to be together, really together and he was never able to give that to me. how i really tried to make it work no matter what and it was never 'right', it was never what i was looking for.
i think of how i felt with pete, how he promised me the world and i believed him. how i gave him everything i had for those few months and when he dumped me i felt crushed like i would never love again. like i would never have the will to do anything ever again. how every damn thing i did reminded me of him.
i remember going to the cape and feeling that this was the only place where i could be that did not remind me of him.
i also remember how i felt when i came back from the cape and decided to go onto match.com
and how each man i dated i felt a connection with and how i really wanted to make this one 'work' but they never did.
how eyeore always had so many issues that he didnt have time for me and he just faded away. how the professor never had time for me either. and how jim could not let me into his life fully. always kept at arms length made me feel inadequite. they all made me feel like i was not enough of a woman for them, like i could not play a part in their lives. i was not worthy.
and when i met burt, how i felt like i could be myself and i could feel wanted and loved and like i was enough for him and i was worthy of being in a relationship.
everything melted into something good.
now, months and months later i have been contacted by all of them.
eyeore contacted me via email/IM telling me he messed up and i was his needle in a haystack and he didnt even know it.
the professor contacted me via text message asking if i wanted to get together and he missed me..... MISSED ME... HAHAHAHAHA he barely ever saw me or talked to me on the phone and he didnt even know me.... how can you miss me.
and jim contacted me once via email saying he was looking for a freind to talk to, but i was not online at the time so i missed it.
and pete.... every time pete is in the waterbury branch, he asks about me, quite often.
i think it is so funny and odd that these people didnt want to be with me but they regret their actions after the fact.
i also think it is funny how the means of contact these days especially if you are embarassed to contact someone is via technology rather than a regular phone call.
and i think it is wonderful that i am able to be with a man who loves me for me
who wants to be with me
enjoys me
and i can be myself with him.
i have thought alot about this stuff lately, and wonder how they all are. being the good person that i am, i hope that they are ok and they are happy and find what ever it is that they are looking for....even pete, the one who crushed me more than anything ever has in my life.
i strive for some sort of peace in my heart and i think i have it pretty good right now.
i think if how i was when i was married, always walking on egg shells and wondering what would happen next in my life. always hoping for a calm normal day or night and never having one.... ever
i think of how it was when i dated zeke and how much i wanted us to be together, really together and he was never able to give that to me. how i really tried to make it work no matter what and it was never 'right', it was never what i was looking for.
i think of how i felt with pete, how he promised me the world and i believed him. how i gave him everything i had for those few months and when he dumped me i felt crushed like i would never love again. like i would never have the will to do anything ever again. how every damn thing i did reminded me of him.
i remember going to the cape and feeling that this was the only place where i could be that did not remind me of him.
i also remember how i felt when i came back from the cape and decided to go onto match.com
and how each man i dated i felt a connection with and how i really wanted to make this one 'work' but they never did.
how eyeore always had so many issues that he didnt have time for me and he just faded away. how the professor never had time for me either. and how jim could not let me into his life fully. always kept at arms length made me feel inadequite. they all made me feel like i was not enough of a woman for them, like i could not play a part in their lives. i was not worthy.
and when i met burt, how i felt like i could be myself and i could feel wanted and loved and like i was enough for him and i was worthy of being in a relationship.
everything melted into something good.
now, months and months later i have been contacted by all of them.
eyeore contacted me via email/IM telling me he messed up and i was his needle in a haystack and he didnt even know it.
the professor contacted me via text message asking if i wanted to get together and he missed me..... MISSED ME... HAHAHAHAHA he barely ever saw me or talked to me on the phone and he didnt even know me.... how can you miss me.
and jim contacted me once via email saying he was looking for a freind to talk to, but i was not online at the time so i missed it.
and pete.... every time pete is in the waterbury branch, he asks about me, quite often.
i think it is so funny and odd that these people didnt want to be with me but they regret their actions after the fact.
i also think it is funny how the means of contact these days especially if you are embarassed to contact someone is via technology rather than a regular phone call.
and i think it is wonderful that i am able to be with a man who loves me for me
who wants to be with me
enjoys me
and i can be myself with him.
i have thought alot about this stuff lately, and wonder how they all are. being the good person that i am, i hope that they are ok and they are happy and find what ever it is that they are looking for....even pete, the one who crushed me more than anything ever has in my life.
i strive for some sort of peace in my heart and i think i have it pretty good right now.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
long freaking day
lots of interruptions and not alot got done
now i am home with josh and his friend nick
burt is at a red sox game with his brother.
i have to make dinner for the boys, we might have a fire pit and
marshmallows later and then they will be up to a million o'clock and i
will go to bed because i have to go back to work at the crack of dawn again tomorrow
thinking of grilling chicken, it is thawed... and we have a grill.... so why not!
i went to a music festival this weekend where a local band that i love played. they used to play all the time, every month for years, i only started going to see them when josh was about 2. but my friend jean told me about them for years... they started playing in 83 i think.
so anyway, this band used to play every month and at a certain point in my life with my ex-husband i decided that he gets to do what ever the hell he wants all the time, i am going to have something for myself too.
so after years of jean asking me if i wanted to come out to see the neybas with her, i finally said yes. it did not go over well but i stood my ground.
i loved it, i loved the music, i love how i felt like i was 'ok' here and i was surrounded by people who were only there for the music and the good time.
i latched on and every month without fail i went and met jean and her then husband steve at what ever venue they would play at... usually the hungry tiger in manchester or arch street tavern in hartford. i felt comfortable at both of those places and i felt comfortable with this group of people.
when the music started around 9:30, usually on a saturday night, i would get right up front with jean and stand there and dance the entire night. my hips would hurt the next day but it was a good hurt.
the first few times it was so loud my ears would ring for hours afterwards... but now adays i am used to the loud :)
so starting in around 95 until they stopped playing somewhere around 07 we went every month if we could.
then one day they stopped playing, and i was so upset.
by then i was no longer married but the music still did something to me inside.
last year in the summer they got together and played a relatively short set (not the whole evening) and it was great!! we all got together again and it was like old times.
but then they did not play again.... now this year they played at this festival on saturday and it was a full set, almost 3 hours of their music... and i was so happy to be there.
these days with facebook, you can friend people that you would not usually speak to... so i had friended 3 of the main members of the band and was able to hear the updates leading up to the date... and all the comments afterward.
i was able to get a few songs on video and i am so glad for this. it took me a while to figure out how to post them and then a while to load them.... but the members of the band were grateful and have commented on how they like the videos even tho they are raw.
the drummer wrote to me and i responded by telling him that the neybas music is like comfort food to me.... all the while i used to go see them play i would be able to be in my own little world where everything was OK and i could be happy for a while.
this past weekend seeing them play again, sharing them with burt, being able to put the videos up online so others can watch them too.... i feel very satisfied with this.
and at the same time i feel an empty hole, knowing they wont play again for a year or ever... who knows what the future holds....
at least i have the videos to watch now and then and i have the memories of all the times i shared with these friends and the smiles it brings to my face.... they are priceless.
and thank you oregon.... at least that is where i think my anonymous commenter is from... either that or mass... it is very helpful and wonderful to have your guidance when i seem to be lost in my words.
lots of interruptions and not alot got done
now i am home with josh and his friend nick
burt is at a red sox game with his brother.
i have to make dinner for the boys, we might have a fire pit and
marshmallows later and then they will be up to a million o'clock and i
will go to bed because i have to go back to work at the crack of dawn again tomorrow
thinking of grilling chicken, it is thawed... and we have a grill.... so why not!
i went to a music festival this weekend where a local band that i love played. they used to play all the time, every month for years, i only started going to see them when josh was about 2. but my friend jean told me about them for years... they started playing in 83 i think.
so anyway, this band used to play every month and at a certain point in my life with my ex-husband i decided that he gets to do what ever the hell he wants all the time, i am going to have something for myself too.
so after years of jean asking me if i wanted to come out to see the neybas with her, i finally said yes. it did not go over well but i stood my ground.
i loved it, i loved the music, i love how i felt like i was 'ok' here and i was surrounded by people who were only there for the music and the good time.
i latched on and every month without fail i went and met jean and her then husband steve at what ever venue they would play at... usually the hungry tiger in manchester or arch street tavern in hartford. i felt comfortable at both of those places and i felt comfortable with this group of people.
when the music started around 9:30, usually on a saturday night, i would get right up front with jean and stand there and dance the entire night. my hips would hurt the next day but it was a good hurt.
the first few times it was so loud my ears would ring for hours afterwards... but now adays i am used to the loud :)
so starting in around 95 until they stopped playing somewhere around 07 we went every month if we could.
then one day they stopped playing, and i was so upset.
by then i was no longer married but the music still did something to me inside.
last year in the summer they got together and played a relatively short set (not the whole evening) and it was great!! we all got together again and it was like old times.
but then they did not play again.... now this year they played at this festival on saturday and it was a full set, almost 3 hours of their music... and i was so happy to be there.
these days with facebook, you can friend people that you would not usually speak to... so i had friended 3 of the main members of the band and was able to hear the updates leading up to the date... and all the comments afterward.
i was able to get a few songs on video and i am so glad for this. it took me a while to figure out how to post them and then a while to load them.... but the members of the band were grateful and have commented on how they like the videos even tho they are raw.
the drummer wrote to me and i responded by telling him that the neybas music is like comfort food to me.... all the while i used to go see them play i would be able to be in my own little world where everything was OK and i could be happy for a while.
this past weekend seeing them play again, sharing them with burt, being able to put the videos up online so others can watch them too.... i feel very satisfied with this.
and at the same time i feel an empty hole, knowing they wont play again for a year or ever... who knows what the future holds....
at least i have the videos to watch now and then and i have the memories of all the times i shared with these friends and the smiles it brings to my face.... they are priceless.
and thank you oregon.... at least that is where i think my anonymous commenter is from... either that or mass... it is very helpful and wonderful to have your guidance when i seem to be lost in my words.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
it kind of bothers me that i cannot write like alot of people can write.
then it comes to me that they are telling a story and most times i am just writing my feelings ... right now.
it is easier to tell a story. more details flow.
when i used to blog about my match.com life, alot of it was stories of the crazy madcap crap that happened when calling emailing and dating this person you never met before in your life.
but when i sit here and try to write my feelings, they come harder than a story.
a friend of mine is writing on facebook but may start a blog about the seventies when he was a kid. and he has tons of stories with infinite details.
so i sit here wondering what i will write about and how to describe it all so that it is compelling and make people want to read my stuff.
my life is not exactly compelling.
we finished clearing out burts storage space yesterday and today we will tackle mine. if we clear them out by the end of the month we will save a few hundred dollars a month, which would be very cool.
we are just bringing it all here and storing it in the garage, but then the problem to tackle is going thru the boxes and sorting, keeping, throwing, donating so that the boxes minimize in numbers and we can then again park a car in the garage.
there is so much stuff.... it is overwhelming for me to think of the amount of stuff.
it is one thing to keep the stuff about kids, projects papers picture.... but then there is the crap, the stuff that is saved just for the sake of saving, the hoarding or at least organized hoarding that is going on. and i am really not the culprit here. i have NO problem throwing things away or donating them i just dont have the time to devote to the throwing and donating. but my beloved i fear has issues with this subject
and as we now have the boxes here it will be interested to see how often he makes the time to go thru and throw out and donate.
cross your fingers for us.
then it comes to me that they are telling a story and most times i am just writing my feelings ... right now.
it is easier to tell a story. more details flow.
when i used to blog about my match.com life, alot of it was stories of the crazy madcap crap that happened when calling emailing and dating this person you never met before in your life.
but when i sit here and try to write my feelings, they come harder than a story.
a friend of mine is writing on facebook but may start a blog about the seventies when he was a kid. and he has tons of stories with infinite details.
so i sit here wondering what i will write about and how to describe it all so that it is compelling and make people want to read my stuff.
my life is not exactly compelling.
we finished clearing out burts storage space yesterday and today we will tackle mine. if we clear them out by the end of the month we will save a few hundred dollars a month, which would be very cool.
we are just bringing it all here and storing it in the garage, but then the problem to tackle is going thru the boxes and sorting, keeping, throwing, donating so that the boxes minimize in numbers and we can then again park a car in the garage.
there is so much stuff.... it is overwhelming for me to think of the amount of stuff.
it is one thing to keep the stuff about kids, projects papers picture.... but then there is the crap, the stuff that is saved just for the sake of saving, the hoarding or at least organized hoarding that is going on. and i am really not the culprit here. i have NO problem throwing things away or donating them i just dont have the time to devote to the throwing and donating. but my beloved i fear has issues with this subject
and as we now have the boxes here it will be interested to see how often he makes the time to go thru and throw out and donate.
cross your fingers for us.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
i just brought josh back to camp in bozrah for the last time this summer, camp ends on tuesday. i have driven 90 miles each round trip. he has been home one day a week since school got out. he has become more mature, responsible, lost weight, gained muscle, made friends and made money. all in all..... it was worth it i think.
what gives a person character really?
hard work
strong love
respect of others
i am proud of my boy for the work he has done this summer and i hope that it helps him in the coming school year
i do dread it....but it is inevitable
today we will be playing with storage spaces, clearing them out to save some money.... if we finish by the end of the month we can both close them out and save a few hundred dollars.
it is 9:30am on saturday and we have a window of about 6 hours to play with.
i hope that we get something good accomplished.
it is a beautiful day and not too hot yet as well
the sun is shining and not a cloud in the sky
i am able to look around here and feel at peace. not peace like when i am at the shore or more especially at the cape... but still, i think i am infusing the cape into my home life and picturing the peace that the cape brings me
i do love being in rhode island but honestly the cape has my heart.... and i am not sure why.
it is the comfort of years i think
the comfort of having gone to the cape for 27 years and knowing alot of the towns near the tip of the cape like the back of my hand
and the fact that i know a few people who live there, and i can connect with them when i come to visit.
maybe in time i will have the same love for RI
what gives a person character really?
hard work
strong love
respect of others
i am proud of my boy for the work he has done this summer and i hope that it helps him in the coming school year
i do dread it....but it is inevitable
today we will be playing with storage spaces, clearing them out to save some money.... if we finish by the end of the month we can both close them out and save a few hundred dollars.
it is 9:30am on saturday and we have a window of about 6 hours to play with.
i hope that we get something good accomplished.
it is a beautiful day and not too hot yet as well
the sun is shining and not a cloud in the sky
i am able to look around here and feel at peace. not peace like when i am at the shore or more especially at the cape... but still, i think i am infusing the cape into my home life and picturing the peace that the cape brings me
i do love being in rhode island but honestly the cape has my heart.... and i am not sure why.
it is the comfort of years i think
the comfort of having gone to the cape for 27 years and knowing alot of the towns near the tip of the cape like the back of my hand
and the fact that i know a few people who live there, and i can connect with them when i come to visit.
maybe in time i will have the same love for RI
Thursday, August 12, 2010
i miss my kid
hard to believe this is the same woman who just a few short weeks ago was screaming at him every morning to hurry up and get ready and screaming about grades and wishing the freshman year to be over.... but he has been gone away to camp where he works with cub scouts all summer long.
aside from the one week we took for family vacation a month ago, i have seen him one day a week since school got out.... and i miss him.
i get to pick him up tonight around 8:30pm and he will be asleep by the time we get back to windsor i guarantee!!
he gets his retainer tomorrow and his blues band is playing in the town center from 1-3 pm i wont be able to stay and watch tho, i have to go back to work.
after they play maybe i can spend some time with him before he has to go to bed and get up and be brought back to camp at the crack of dawn on saturday morning.
BUT camp is almost over and the last day is next tuesday.... i am excited to get him back in my life.... granted i will be screaming at him again in no time, but right now i miss him.
and then school starts the following week... and then it begins again.
thinking of school makes me sleepy already. last year was alot of work for both of us.
i hope for a better year this year.
i find myself working very hard these days at work and when i get home i am not working very hard here, and i guess that is ok too.
i have a few things that need to get done, pay a few bills
but i dont feel much like doing anything. this week we have watched a few movies and i have made dinner and cleaned the kitchen up... but as for anything else.... i am out of it for now.
i am glad when i write on the blog, at least i feel i have accomplished something other than every day.... day to day.... stuff.
lately i am worrying about college, how am i gonna pay for it....
i worry about the paperwork involved and the research
and the forms to fill out.... eek! i hate forms!
i worry about scholarships and if he will get any and how to apply and what school he will go to and if it will be a fortune or only a half a fortune...
he is going into 10th grade and i know i dont have to worry too much right now about it but i am... and i do...
hard to believe this is the same woman who just a few short weeks ago was screaming at him every morning to hurry up and get ready and screaming about grades and wishing the freshman year to be over.... but he has been gone away to camp where he works with cub scouts all summer long.
aside from the one week we took for family vacation a month ago, i have seen him one day a week since school got out.... and i miss him.
i get to pick him up tonight around 8:30pm and he will be asleep by the time we get back to windsor i guarantee!!
he gets his retainer tomorrow and his blues band is playing in the town center from 1-3 pm i wont be able to stay and watch tho, i have to go back to work.
after they play maybe i can spend some time with him before he has to go to bed and get up and be brought back to camp at the crack of dawn on saturday morning.
BUT camp is almost over and the last day is next tuesday.... i am excited to get him back in my life.... granted i will be screaming at him again in no time, but right now i miss him.
and then school starts the following week... and then it begins again.
thinking of school makes me sleepy already. last year was alot of work for both of us.
i hope for a better year this year.
i find myself working very hard these days at work and when i get home i am not working very hard here, and i guess that is ok too.
i have a few things that need to get done, pay a few bills
but i dont feel much like doing anything. this week we have watched a few movies and i have made dinner and cleaned the kitchen up... but as for anything else.... i am out of it for now.
i am glad when i write on the blog, at least i feel i have accomplished something other than every day.... day to day.... stuff.
lately i am worrying about college, how am i gonna pay for it....
i worry about the paperwork involved and the research
and the forms to fill out.... eek! i hate forms!
i worry about scholarships and if he will get any and how to apply and what school he will go to and if it will be a fortune or only a half a fortune...
he is going into 10th grade and i know i dont have to worry too much right now about it but i am... and i do...
Sunday, August 8, 2010
so i finally read the watercolors for beginners book
which really i am not a total beginner because i have painted before with both watercolors and acrylics
and i pretty much am not going to follow anything in the book
my paintings in my head are much more abstract than the examples in the book
so when i get around to it, i will just paint what comes to me
and when i get sick of it, i will put it down.
still trying to be creative with food too. made a dinner tonight that would have been much better if the cut of meat was better .... but still it looked pretty and burt liked it... so i guess it was a win.
kim and bruce came for a visit yesterday and it was so nice
i freaked out until they were there and once they were i was fine
i am always like that when people are coming over.
i took a nap today, what a time sucker that was.... like two hours ... gone....
but it was a nice weekend none the less and it is only 9 so i still have a little more awake time today.
it has cooled off the last few days so we are able to keep the windows open and ac off... such a treat
i love the sounds outside
the crickets in the evening and the birds in the day time.
and the breeze when there is one is heavenly.
which really i am not a total beginner because i have painted before with both watercolors and acrylics
and i pretty much am not going to follow anything in the book
my paintings in my head are much more abstract than the examples in the book
so when i get around to it, i will just paint what comes to me
and when i get sick of it, i will put it down.
still trying to be creative with food too. made a dinner tonight that would have been much better if the cut of meat was better .... but still it looked pretty and burt liked it... so i guess it was a win.
kim and bruce came for a visit yesterday and it was so nice
i freaked out until they were there and once they were i was fine
i am always like that when people are coming over.
i took a nap today, what a time sucker that was.... like two hours ... gone....
but it was a nice weekend none the less and it is only 9 so i still have a little more awake time today.
it has cooled off the last few days so we are able to keep the windows open and ac off... such a treat
i love the sounds outside
the crickets in the evening and the birds in the day time.
and the breeze when there is one is heavenly.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
my anonymous commenter keeps telling me that i should just let it be and let the creativity come when it comes
makes perfect sense.
been running around all morning doing cleaning in case kim and bruce come for a visit. i feel much better about the way the house looks now. burt is rearranging the garage so that we can clean out our storage spaces and save some money per month to pay for bills etc.
i have made it thru a bunch of my paper work, and i am loading cd's into the itunes on my old computer.
i feel very accomplished and it is only 1:30.
the commenter also mentions that creativity comes in cooking too.
i have been more interested in cooking these days
it is all about the ingredients
i have not had much of anything on hand the last few weeks and we have been going out to eat alot because it was more convenient.
but with real food around i have made a few tasty things lately.
i still have not painted and still dont feel like it either.
maybe soon
makes perfect sense.
been running around all morning doing cleaning in case kim and bruce come for a visit. i feel much better about the way the house looks now. burt is rearranging the garage so that we can clean out our storage spaces and save some money per month to pay for bills etc.
i have made it thru a bunch of my paper work, and i am loading cd's into the itunes on my old computer.
i feel very accomplished and it is only 1:30.
the commenter also mentions that creativity comes in cooking too.
i have been more interested in cooking these days
it is all about the ingredients
i have not had much of anything on hand the last few weeks and we have been going out to eat alot because it was more convenient.
but with real food around i have made a few tasty things lately.
i still have not painted and still dont feel like it either.
maybe soon
Friday, August 6, 2010
kim and bruce are coming tomorrow for a visit and i am freaking out about cleaning the house, burt has been a huge help.
chipmunks dug in between stones in the new patio,i am frustrated and want to give up on the yard
dont think there will be any time for trying to be creative this weekend. too much going on and too much to do!
someday.... maybe....
chipmunks dug in between stones in the new patio,i am frustrated and want to give up on the yard
dont think there will be any time for trying to be creative this weekend. too much going on and too much to do!
someday.... maybe....
Thursday, August 5, 2010
creativity.... hmm what is that?
i have been so tired since we finished the patio that i just get from point a to point b and that is about it.
i actually made dinner tonight for the first time since last week.
and i have not done my time on the eliptical today or yesterday, i actually feel like i am coming down with something.... which would suck. i hate summer colds.
i have yet to get to a place were i have nothing to do and have time to be creative again.
if it is not finishing work in the yard, patio edging, planting landscaping around the house.
then there is the fact that the house need decorating, paint etc etc
and then there is the pile of paperwork in my office that needs to be gone thru and filed and chucked, which ever applies.
and then there is the storage space that i pay a good chunk of money for each month that i should clean out.... but where to put it all?
it seems that all of these things come before creativity. any day of the week.
and i want to paint, i want to do something pretty... but i dont have the drive for it right now.
i suppose the gardening etc is a form of creativity and the decorating and painting surely is..... but getting there
that is always my battle .... getting there.
i have been so tired since we finished the patio that i just get from point a to point b and that is about it.
i actually made dinner tonight for the first time since last week.
and i have not done my time on the eliptical today or yesterday, i actually feel like i am coming down with something.... which would suck. i hate summer colds.
i have yet to get to a place were i have nothing to do and have time to be creative again.
if it is not finishing work in the yard, patio edging, planting landscaping around the house.
then there is the fact that the house need decorating, paint etc etc
and then there is the pile of paperwork in my office that needs to be gone thru and filed and chucked, which ever applies.
and then there is the storage space that i pay a good chunk of money for each month that i should clean out.... but where to put it all?
it seems that all of these things come before creativity. any day of the week.
and i want to paint, i want to do something pretty... but i dont have the drive for it right now.
i suppose the gardening etc is a form of creativity and the decorating and painting surely is..... but getting there
that is always my battle .... getting there.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
well we finished it, we have about 8 yards of crushed glass that i have no idea what we are going to do with.
we finished around 12:30 this afternoon. it is nice, smaller than i had hoped but we spent more money than i had planned to.... so there is no way we were going to buy more rocks to make it bigger. it is fine the way it is. i have some issues with the crushed glass, i dont trust walking in bar feet around it... but we dont usually walk in bare feet out there anyway. and i wonder if it will wash away when it rains.
but it is pretty and i am glad we did it.
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