long freaking day
lots of interruptions and not alot got done
now i am home with josh and his friend nick
burt is at a red sox game with his brother.
i have to make dinner for the boys, we might have a fire pit and
marshmallows later and then they will be up to a million o'clock and i
will go to bed because i have to go back to work at the crack of dawn again tomorrow

thinking of grilling chicken, it is thawed... and we have a grill.... so why not!

i went to a music festival this weekend where a local band that i love played. they used to play all the time, every month for years, i only started going to see them when josh was about 2. but my friend jean told me about them for years... they started playing in 83 i think.
so anyway, this band used to play every month and at a certain point in my life with my ex-husband i decided that he gets to do what ever the hell he wants all the time, i am going to have something for myself too.
so after years of jean asking me if i wanted to come out to see the neybas with her, i finally said yes. it did not go over well but i stood my ground.
i loved it, i loved the music, i love how i felt like i was 'ok' here and i was surrounded by people who were only there for the music and the good time.
i latched on and every month without fail i went and met jean and her then husband steve at what ever venue they would play at... usually the hungry tiger in manchester or arch street tavern in hartford. i felt comfortable at both of those places and i felt comfortable with this group of people.
when the music started around 9:30, usually on a saturday night, i would get right up front with jean and stand there and dance the entire night. my hips would hurt the next day but it was a good hurt.
the first few times it was so loud my ears would ring for hours afterwards... but now adays i am used to the loud :)
so starting in around 95 until they stopped playing somewhere around 07 we went every month if we could.
then one day they stopped playing, and i was so upset.
by then i was no longer married but the music still did something to me inside.
last year in the summer they got together and played a relatively short set (not the whole evening) and it was great!! we all got together again and it was like old times.
but then they did not play again.... now this year they played at this festival on saturday and it was a full set, almost 3 hours of their music... and i was so happy to be there.
these days with facebook, you can friend people that you would not usually speak to... so i had friended 3 of the main members of the band and was able to hear the updates leading up to the date... and all the comments afterward.
i was able to get a few songs on video and i am so glad for this. it took me a while to figure out how to post them and then a while to load them.... but the members of the band were grateful and have commented on how they like the videos even tho they are raw.
the drummer wrote to me and i responded by telling him that the neybas music is like comfort food to me.... all the while i used to go see them play i would be able to be in my own little world where everything was OK and i could be happy for a while.

this past weekend seeing them play again, sharing them with burt, being able to put the videos up online so others can watch them too.... i feel very satisfied with this.
and at the same time i feel an empty hole, knowing they wont play again for a year or ever... who knows what the future holds....
at least i have the videos to watch now and then and i have the memories of all the times i shared with these friends and the smiles it brings to my face.... they are priceless.

and thank you oregon.... at least that is where i think my anonymous commenter is from... either that or mass... it is very helpful and wonderful to have your guidance when i seem to be lost in my words.