a house full of people
rain falling outside the window
singing, talking, laughing
playing cards and game all around me
why do i always pass
why am i never the one to play a game
i would rather watch, or listen
maybe it is the fear of loss
or the fear of messing up

thunder rumbles outside
the old ferry lumbers out into the open waters
the breeze feels good on my arms
that are a little bit burned from the sun earlier today
visibility is still quite good
considering
it is wednesday
of our week at the beach
with a million people
tempers flair
personalities conflict
but then it settles
by the end of the week
we have all had a wonderful time but
we are also ready to go home and get away
from the rest of the crowd

the sprinkles of rain on the deck
are random
and cool
i do not see the lightening, i only hear the thunder
finishing reading my book is coming slowly
i am so close but i just cant finish it, i keep falling alseep
maybe i just dont want to finish it without another book to read, and it is
only wednesday
tomorrow.... book store

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see this is what i mean, i only have my words, and how interesting are they really?
i am hoping by writing that maybe i can see into myself and see why i do what i do and why i want to be creative so badly.

they are all going to a movie tonight and i am going to stay here
time on my own is a good thing at this point.