i put up my tree this weekend and we finished decorating it last night
when we were done we listened to xmas carols on the radio and sang together (josh and i)
it was fun
i find when i listen to xmas music alone i get sad
and i started to last night, and i decided that i had to change my attitude. sure i always wanted that picture perfect situation in my head about xmas
the boyfriend/husband who was there and attentive
the perfect xmas day where we would not have to drive all over creation and just relax in our own home.
but i dont have that, i never had that, i never will have that.... so why do i hang onto that in my head.
i am a strong woman and should be proud of myself for being a single parent for all these years.
i make a good home for my son and we do just fine.
we have our traditions and no one can take that away from us.
sure right now i am not in a situation where i wake up with my man on xmas morning, but i did not have that last year and the years with zeke were not 'warm and fuzzy' either.
so maybe that is to come, and if it never comes, that is ok too.
i do have a man who is crazy about me and has his own daughter to take care of... and our paths cross when they can. maybe next year or the year after that will be closer to what i imagine, but for now i need to be happy with what i have.
dont let that damn xmas music get you down!