my eyes hurt today, not sure why, they sting
and i am tired
not getting to sleep before midnight again these days
delayed opening for school so i have to go to work and come back for josh at 9
jim is trying to come to josh's school concert tonight... i hope he can, but i understand if he cant.
it is great that he is even trying to come.
xmas and new years are around the corner.... it will all be over in no time.
i am pleased and satisfied that i have a great boyfriend, but because i still dont know his daughter i feel 'a bit outside' still.
i know that it will not be like this next year and this is all part of a new relationship.
i have lots of plans to keep me busy
when i think of the past, with zeke and last year with pete
i have not really 'been' with anyone on the holidays since scott.
zeke was there, but not really there....
pete still had his own life and even tho he came to new years with me, i was still removed in that relationship as well.
because we were married we did everything on the holidays together, and you were guaranteed not to be alone... but you were not necessarily happy.
this year i am happy and i will see him probably after xmas, unless she goes to her mothers, but i am much happier now than i have ever been with a man.... not sure exactly why, maybe it is just a better fit or he is a better person or i am in a better place.... but things are just better.
and hard to believe... next year will be even better!
josh and i have been getting along more these days, i pick my battles and i think he is doing the same.
well, off to work.... grrr.