sunday
a day like all days
i am up early to get ready for church
then we go to lunch with grammy jeanne out in willimantic
i called jim last night just to say hi and he said a buddy was over helping to console him
i asked about what and he said he would call me in a few minutes when the guy left
he never called, never answered my calls
sure it probably is as simple as he was exhausted and fell asleep but in my mind, it races around and hits off all the walls of my brain.
so again on a sunday morning, i wait to hear from him
being removed from his life (well not really removed, just not let inside)
this is hard for me because i care so very much and i am not allowed to be part of it
i cant imagine what had happened between 5 when i talked to him last and 9pm when he needed to be consoled.
could be anything

either way, i have no recourse but to wait for a call or email
i left msgs he knows how i am feeling and wishing i could help.

he has been a loner for so many years, not letting people in, dealing with problems on his own, this is something i dont think will ever change.