breezy?? i think not

well my heart has sunk
i hate to write this cause i know i have about 4 people who are reading and following and you are not going to be happy with me but i called again
i was totally prepared, dont get me wrong, like i have said before, he does not know i am crazy, only you guys do.
if i got immediate vm i was just going to hang up
if i got 3 rings and vm i was going to leave a short hey how are you, just me, give me a call , hope you are well
and if he answered, then we would talk

i got 3 rings and vm
i did what i said i was going to do
but now i feel as though my heart has sunk

ok lets say he is a forgetful man and he forgot it was my birthday
whatever
ok lets say he is really really busy and has not had time to call me
whatever

all i know is that i have done all there is to be done
we had a great day the other day and he gave me the impression he was very glad i was in his life
i have no reason to think anything otherwise

he has vm from me and emails ....and that is it
i cant do any more
i have already done too much
i am sad
i hate picnics and i have to go to one in 15 minutes
everyone is going to ask me about the realtor and i have no info and i dont want to talk about any of it
i wish i could just take a pill and go to sleep until tomorrow

i feel like throwing up
i feel like crying
i feel like screaming
i feel like running away

what the fuck!
well to hell with all of this, i am a GREAT person and any man would be lucky to have me in their life
i am me, this is who i am, this is what you get.....
so i am done, he makes the next contact, if he does not want to see me anymore, i can take a freaking hint
and if he is just busy and calls later or tomorrow, i will deal with him then
and if that is the case, i cant even tell you what i will say, i hate doing this stuff on the phone or in emails, it is better in person

i bet his phone died yesterday
he is at the lake today and busy bla bla bla
and either will call later today or email tomorrow am
and think nothing of any of this, cause HE is breezy
not me!