insert foot in mouth

well he called
actually he fell asleep and i called and woke him and then i went over
i actually got him to go all the way to enfield to see gene's band and to meet jean.
i was thrilled. it was a great night.
he drank alot and i think jean was concerned
but as of right now, i am not.
but i have my eyes open.
we had fun, everyone seemed to like him and he liked them as well.
i stayed with him till this morning when i had to go to church

my one regret and i did not regret it at the time (or at all really until i left today)
last night, i only had 3 beers i was not drunk at all,
i kept smiling at him and he kept saying 'what?'
so when we got back to his house i took his face in my hands and
told him that i was in love with him
gasp!
i know it!
she didnt really say that did she?
omg!
yes i did
i got a huge huge smile in return and i kiss and i told 'and i'm not drunk either' and he said i know your not

my regret is this
i did not get a
'me too'
or anything like that
and i hope i did not fuck it up by saying that
but hell, he must know that is how i feel about him
he knows i am crazy about him and i have said everything BUT that so far....

i said it last night around 11:30 or so and we still had all night and this morning and he seemed fine. so i am guessing i did no harm with it.
i was beating myself up about it
but when i said my prayers after communion i had to forgive myself for being human and for expressing love to someone
i did not get a reply
maybe i never will
maybe it takes him alot longer to feel that way about someone
maybe he is like zeke and does not say it at all

but no matter what the reasons
i know how i feel and i expressed it
and there really is nothing i can do now
i cant take it back
and i dont want to

when i said it i told myself that if i was going to say it
it should not matter if he says it back or not
so i have to feel that way today as well.