a little angry

hi
me again, just wanted to vent a bit. i have had a few beers and i am feeling angry, and this is a good thing because maybe i am on my way out of this hurtful funk i have been in.
i completely understand that my ex had to break this relationship up because he needed space, time, to be able to focus on the important stuff, because he felt that if he did not have this time to 'explore' so that he could realize what a great thing he had with me... curiosity would eventually kill the cat (his words) and it would grenade in front of us (his words again).
i do feel grateful that i was not cheated on because it would be sooooo much worse if i was cheated on, but on the other hand i am angry that i was not enough for him. how could i have not been enough for him, i gave him everything and treated him like a king, our connection was beyond belief, everything was good, how could that not have been enough? i guess i just dont get it.
so here stems my anger. it makes me feel as though even though i gave everything, it was not good enough. it just does not make sense to me.
i met with some friends tonight who made me feel good about myself and also took my mind off things.... but under it all ... there it still is.... the anger and disbelief.
this sucks more than i could ever imagine and i am trying so hard to get over this and realize that i have been dumped and there is no turning back.
maybe in a year or so if he realizes that i really was as good as he thought at the time, maybe he might come back to me, but do i sit here and wait,.... hell no.
i need to be truly ok with myself and know that i am a great person and a great catch and someone WILL think that i am enough. whether it is my ex or not, someone will appreciate me for me.
the words 'it's not you, it's me' have damaged me in ways so deep that i never thought possible. for me to have a connection like i did and just to give myself completely to another person, and have it not be enough and to be rejected for it is horrendous. i cant wait for the day when the bell goes off in my head and i know... i just know.... that i am ok the way i am.
this whole post must sound crazy to anyone just reading it, but i have to work thru these things so that i can come out on the other side standing tall and proud again, like i used to. i feel that i am close to it now.... maybe a matter of days and i will be willing and ready to get back out there again. keep good thoughts for me please.