update

well the last two days have been very odd for me.
i have been talking to two men that i have met online. both are extremely nice and possibilities for the future.
i have also emailed a few dawgs, definite dawgs.
some people are so shy even in email form, it is crazy.
and some are totally only out for sex, you can tell immediately.
if i a guy starts talking a bit too racy for someone i just 'met' and i ask them to tone it down... if they do.... they are worth still talking to... if they dont.... you know what they are after.

i told my friend today that it was like juggling..... LOOK AT ME, I'M JUGGLING!!
and it is very odd for me. i know people do it all the time, date more than one person casually.... i have never done that. every person i ever dated in my whole life was the only person i dated at that time. we dated until we broke up and then i would move on to the next person eventually.
i find this hard to wrap my head around.... but it is a necessary part of this process. they are both very nice and seem to be interested in me. but i have not met either in person yet. by the end of the weekend i hope to have met them both and then i can see if there is any chemistry at all with either of them. what will be weird for me is if there is chemistry with both.... then i will just have to date them both for a while to see which person is right for me..... another process that is foreign to me totally.

this is making me really look at myself as a person, it is a growing experience for me.
i am glad i am constantly growing as a person.
today i thank my ex for many things....
for letting me set the bar for myself so high, to compare to the fantastic relationship we experienced for several months

for giving me the copy of the pink cd 'i'm not dead', i love that cd and i would have never even bought it for myself.... i listen to it all the time and it has gotten me thru many times (good and bad) lately.

and for letting me go
so i can fly