so since i have been so crazy lately and ranting so much for the last several weeks i thought i would speak to my state of mind these days.... i am nervous.
and excited.
but mostly nervous.
i am going to meet two of these guys this weekend and i have not been on a blind date, well, since i met my ex and before that i was never on one.
i always knew the person first.
i am nervous about peoples demeanor's, some people are easy to talk to and when they switch the conversation to sex or anything that has to do with sex, it can get tense.
some people never talk about sex or anything like it and so that makes it weird because you wonder what is wrong with them....
i am worried about making conversation for an hour or how ever long it is that i am with these guys for the first time.
there is another one in PA that is emailing me too but that just seems so far away. i thought MA was far away for these other two.
this concept confuses me and i know that it all means nothing until i chose it to mean something. so for now i will date these guys and talk to them and see what happens.
but i still feel like i want to throw up.
i need to do housework and make this place someplace i want to come home to again, since vacation we just never put everything back away. i need to pay bills, and do all kinds of laundry.
i feel discombobulated :)
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