i always beat myself up about things that did not even happen. i always worry that i did something wrong and screwed something up (usually a relationship) and it never even happened. why do i do this to myself?
i have been worrying for the last day that because this new man in my life did not call me in about 24 hours, that i did something wrong..... but i did not.
it turns out that i did nothing bad or wrong and was beating myself up for nothing. everything is still good. he is still into me. and we look forward to the next time we see each other again.
i think i am so on edge because i dont want to just give myself to him... but really i do want to give myself to him.
i am so afraid of it turning upside down on me that i want to keep at bay.
but he is such a nice guy and we connect so well. i cant wait to see him again and he feels the same way.
he has alot of extraneous circumstances that are closing in on him with work and health and school ....and it may all come to a head tomorrow. i hope so because it is consuming every conversation and it is consuming his head.
he does not deserve such crap, and i hope that he can find some peace in all of this. he tells me that i am the good stuff and i am the one good thing that has happened to him lately.
i look forward to seeing him again and building more of this relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment