today i am in a state of unknown, with this new man
he was injured the other day and i have not spoken to him since around noon yesterday.
my first instinct is that something is wrong with him and he is in the hospital or something... next instinct is he lost his phone (but he probably did not leave the house so that is not a valid fear) and the last, biggest, scariest is that he is sick of me.... already.
the unknown kills me.
i have no idea what i did wrong or if it is just him not ready for someone like me.
until i hear from him i will never know.
i have given him no reason to ditch me, i have not been needy or bitchy. just sad that i could not see him like we planned this past weekend.
i hate this... i am myself... i act the way i always act because i dont want to be fake and have to keep up a fake act or all of a sudden change and have them think.... what happened to her?
so being myself, gets me no where apparently.
i just felt it was so right.... and it still might be.... maybe he is very ill and does not have his phone with him.... there is still that possibility.
but knowing me, and my past record, probably not.
so i wait to hear from him and my stomach is in knots wondering.
just call me or end it, dont put me thru this torture.
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