better

ok today is a new day and i am not NEARLY as bitter as i was yesterday :)
about to go to my sisters cookout for a few hours.
scott finally emailed (not called, emailed because he lost his voice) abut 14 words and said he would try to call later.... hellloooo.... are they gonna keep you in georgia forever? i just dont get it.
my job is here, down the street, about 3 miles away..... i go in the morning and come back at 5.... been doing that for 25 years.... this travel and entrapment in training meetings makes no sense to me.
again, i have no reason to not believe every word that he says/writes to me..... but i think since friday at 10am i have not spoken to him at all and only had about 50 words in mails total.... well my emails were quite long.... but that is besides the point.

tonight i am meeting a friend around 7..... we shall see what that all brings..... nothing like being alone to bring out the optimism :)
when i asked scott if he wanted me to be his girlfriend he said well, it would be nice.... but he did not say 'yes', he did not say 'i thought you were my girlfriend'...... so we are still working on it apparently.
again i will say it..... i really really like him and would love it if this worked out, i just feel like i am up against it with him/his work/his shoulder/his unknown future.....

and again i will say that i would love to have a man be crazy about me, i would love to be pursued, rather than be the one who makes the calls and emails and texts first.
one time when i was much younger, mabye around 20, i was kind of seeing this guy who put a rose on my car windshield one day, i woke up to go to work and there is was with a note that said thinking of you.... shit.... that is what i want.... all the time..... hellllooo can anybody help me with that please????
(by the way thank you jay b., that was very sweet of you to do, and unfortunately for me, you were the first and last person to ever do that for me) so sad....

uh oh, this guy tonight does not like sarcasm.... how am i doing? i hope i am not too over the top for him.... but it is best to be myself right from the start.... if he is going to fall in love with me, he has to get to know the real me, right? HA!
i am hilarious... i crack myself up!

oh one more note before i go, the flyover sucked today at the parade.... they apparently got rid of the jets that they used to use, they are no longer housed at bradley anymore.... so we got helicopters.... let me just say, there are no goosebumps involved with a helicopter flyover.... no speed involved at all..... LAME!