out with the blue, in with the pink

breathe.... just breathe....

so i made josh go to church the last two weeks to make this banner that all the junior youth group is supposed to walk into church with today , since the new bishop is visiting, and i wanted to make sure he finished his banner and i am laying in bed today thinking..... oh crap... he is camping still, he wont be at church at all today! and neither one of us ever picked up on it at all..... this is a sign of a TOO BUSY FAMILY!

we really have too much going on. i work a very long day of 7:30am to 5:00pm. he has school, and lots of homework, does really well and gets honors, wish he got high honors but still..... plus he has two instruments cello and bass, he is in strings and orchestra at school with his cello and right now only plays and takes private lessons with the electric bass. he takes private lessons with his cello too. he is in boy scouts so he has every tuesday evening committed and one weekend a month for camping. plus he is a den chief for a cub den so he has every friday evening committed. we also attend church very regularly so every sunday is committed from 9:30-12:00. we both see counselors.... thank god for them both! he has braces and is supposed to wear his elastics and night gear every day.... good luck with that buddy. i make and try to sell jewelry so i have to keep up on making product and booking shows or home parties.... good luck to me with that!
i try to have time to exercise (mainly walking around the complex or on the treadmill in my room) which does not happen as often as i would like. i try to read.... even just magazines.... and that does not happen as often as i would like either. we both have friends we try to talk to and see. and then there is all the housework that needs to be kept up on and the million year old dog we have to take care of. oh, plus there is my mom, who i keep up on her doctor appointments and her medications and i fill her pill box every friday night and i do her grocery shopping because she is supposed to be on a low sodium diet and if she does her own shopping she cant be trusted. lets see, am i forgetting anything.... i am sure i am.

we are TOO BUSY. but that is the way we roll...... that is the way it has always been.
who has time for a boyfriend! HA!
it seems that i could not possibly have time to have a boyfriend and pay enough attention to him... but i did and i did it just fine.... ask him, he would tell you, well ....if we were speaking.

so today every time i think about him i have to stop myself IMMEDIATELY cause i will NOT go thru another day like yesterday.

i AM fine and i DONT need anyone right now

he IS gone and WILL NOT be back

it IS OVER and no matter how much i miss him and think about him it WILL NOT bring it all back

it ended for a REASON and that reason SAVED ME from more heartache than i am already experiencing now

the memories are good ones but that is all they are ... MEMORIES

i am a STRONG CONFIDENT woman and i DONT NEED a man right now, i dont need a man EVER

i do LOVE myself and i LOVE my son and that is enough for me right now...

it is MORE THAN ENOUGH for me right now.