i am having a hard time with this blog
i feel as tho i have failed it
i just cant seem to find the words in me to write like i used to
sure i used to ramble and babble on like a little brook in the woods
but still i was able to write about things i was so passionate about that i could hardly write without crying sometimes.
could i have written all i have to write
could i be done?
i hope not
writing is how i get my feelings out and it is how i express my 'art' if you will. i cant really draw and paint, (except letters) and i dont have much else to express creativity in my life.
i have always been able to write my feelings well, and get them out on paper or screen to get them out of my head.
but i just dont feel the need to write anymore, not like i did before.
when i was in pain, i wrote to express the pain and to get it out of me, to help me get over the pain
now i am no longer in pain.... but wait a few minutes, maybe there will be something down the road a bit..... that is a horrible thought.
my only thing that i really feel passionately about is the fact that i cant see jim whenever i want to see him. we have to get to the point where he is comfortable with me and with us so that he can introduce me to his daughter
and i do not want him to rush it because i dont want him to regret it later.
so in the mean time i have to wait around till that dumbass mother takes the kid and decides to keep her overnight. and who the hell ever knows when that will be... i certainly dont ever know and honestly neither does he!
so i will take my angst downstairs and work on jewelry for a bit before bedtime
2 comments:
Maybe you just need to widen the things you'll talk about in it. You started it as a place to complain about companionship, now you've achieved victory and can use it for something else.
How about writing more about your Fall fashions, especially with the big closet move coming up?
How about more about your jewelry crafts?
The wonderful thing about a blog is that you can not fail at it. You can reach a point when you are no longer driven by an inner voice that needs to be free in the written word or are inspired to be creative in another medium or you can just put it down and and perhaps pick it up another day. Either way it is never failing. Your blog seems to a painting in progress. Full of color and emotion, the brush strokes are sometimes doubting and tentative, sometimes smooth and planned, sometimes searching, sometimes bold and all over the place :-), sometimes angry, but full of life. Have trust in life, in yourself and your inner source of creativity and be patient. Some paintings are never finished but remain masterpieces.
Peace to you......
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