argh!

argh
i went from happy that i was doing this again to miserable
i went from the professor emailing me that lame email last night, 'hey how have you been', and ignoring the entire text of my email to him as well as my two voicemail messages.
to today he wants to get together with me tonight, stop over, not take me out
then he calls again and i answered.... told him i had plans, i was a bit distant because he had been ignoring me, he sent an email saying that someone else was using his match account in case i saw it up and active.
then when i said i had plans and he was going away, i said maybe next week if he has time we can get together.
then he calls back and it goes to vm and he says that he missed not seeing me this week and he did send me an email and that we could meet for a drink or maybe dinner if my plans fell thru.
so i was happy that my distance might have had him snap out of it
then..... i get a text, that i cant even reply to because it was sent from the Internet not the phone, saying that he assumes by our conversation and the fact that my profile was back up on match that i was no longer interested and that he was sorry about that.

so i called and he did not answer and i left a vm saying not to assume that, and i thought he was not interested in me because i left two vm and he did not reply to either and i sent an email and he did not reply to that as well and i thought he was not interested anymore and for him to call me so we could discuss it. then i texted to his phone to call me please...... and that is all i can do.

it is in his court

he may never call me again.... and i might have fucked it up.
i was so happy emailing last night and today... it was fun and exciting again.
if i never did that last night i would be sitting here waiting for his call and when he finally did i would drop everything to go be with him
i dont like that about me
i farmed my kid out a few times in the last week or so in order to have him over and the last two times he did not even call me back.... i dont care how busy you are at work, you can make a 2 minute phone call.

i require so much more attention than this.
the connections we had emotionally and intellectually were fantastic but i need more.

like i said before i may never meet the person who i think will make me happy but i know i have not me him yet.

i did what i could and i did more than i should and i left it in his court telling him exactly how i feel.....