this is the end

so my yahoo expires today and match ... tomorrow....
and what do we have to show for all of it.
many weird experiences, a thicker skin, people i thought i could fall for but didnt... and one left... that i think is SO right but it is TOO soon to tell.
and just by saying certain things i have said... i may have ruined it.
just by actions... but i have to know that if it is RIGHT then anything i said or did will not ruin it
and if they do ruin it... it was not RIGHT to begin with.

so here i am at the edge of this cliff, looking down over the edge, waiting to take the next step onto a green pasture, flat, level, no dangerous drops, nothing bad to step in, and the tumultuous few months of online dating will come to an end... and my little heart cant stand much more of it anyway.

maybe the realtor is the guy i have been looking for, maybe not. but the only way to tell is time. and i hope he is willing to give it the time. i certainly am.

i am still totally tired and not in the mood for anything... my house is still a mess and we were planning to go to the tiger tonight for gene's jam and i dont know that i will be up for it. i feel like i am coming down with a cold or something, i could fall asleep right here while i type.... i am so tired.

off to finish my hair and feed the fluffy.... and go to work