ok now what

so i am sitting here thinking about my situation

i dont doubt for a second that the professor is attracted to me, i just think it wont work, and i guess i have not told him that yet because i hate to give up on things.

i really liked harely guy but i have NO idea if he liked me or not. the fact that he said we should go on another ride again sometime (or someday cant remember exactly what word he used) rather than saying...what are you doing tomorrow or sunday... leads me to think maybe he is just not that into me.
sure it could be that he is not available those days and that is why he said that.... but still.
i do think if he was not slightly interested he would have just brought me back to my car alot quicker and not talked as much as he did.
that is why i sent the email, i figure if he is interested i will get some sort of reply back even if he does not call right away.

i dont know about all of this.
i am perfectly fine with out anyone... i have my friends to make up for the lack of being taken out on dates. they always let me tag along or invite me out.
and i have josh and i have housework and i have movies i like to watch....

i just miss that damn love part.

that is the thing that sucks the most. i guess everyone cant have it all the time. i guess we cant always get what we want. i guess you have to kiss a thousand toads before you meet your frog prince. i guess i am supposed to be alone right now in my life.
i am not really alone
i just dont have that freaking special someone that everyone on match is looking for but no one seems to think that special someone is ME.

so jean said that i did not seem overly excited about harely guy
I AM
i could really enjoy spending time with him and getting to know him.
i cant read him and i have no idea if he liked me or not. so i am holding myself back because he did not plan another date, he did not say 'when can i see you again', there was none of that.... but i cant take it personally because maybe that is his nature to move slowly and he might be kinda shy too.

so again ...i wait.
i wait for the professor who apparently cant tell time and for harley guy to see if he likes me and the blues guy to read his email and reply and get back from his business trip and that is
ALL I GOT.
with my profile down and the subscription ending... i am kind of at a roadblock. if these 3 fall thru which i fear they all will, then i am back at square one... 3 months older and wiser to the world of online dating.
still alone in life
still without love, or someone loving me
which is what i crave
yes, crave.