first contact is for the weak of heart.... ha!

had a good day today
did 4 loads of laundry
errands for mom
went to hartford with laurel, she got her apartment, yay!!
went to the pool with jean and the gang for a while
now i am home.
it is early evening and i am hoping for a call from patrick to go somewhere cause josh is at mom's

i have not heard from the realtor
i am sure he is still settling in
but i am in a good place
i have no idea if i am the only one he is seeing, i may not be.... that would not make me happy, mainly because of the direction our relationship has taken physically.... i never want to be one of many, always want to be the only one.... but that is just me... and maybe it is unrealistic in this world.

i would love..... LOVE..... love it if he would start calling me first again.
somewhere last week when work got busy for him and his days got depressing, i was first contact... and he would return the calls.... i think it was after i saw him last saturday morning.... ever since then i have been first contact.
i liked it better when he was thinking of me and calling me.... i wish it would go back to that.... it might.
it also might not.
he might like me thinking about him and calling first.....
i dont know
i dont want head games
i hate them
i know that i contact him first because i am thinking of him and i want him to know i am thinking of him.... the bad part about that is that if i dont get him then i have to wait, and that is the part that sucks and that is the part that makes me think bad thoughts
when he was contacting me first.... he was waiting for me... when i leave a vm... i am waiting for him.... and we ALLLLLL know how i feel about waiting.....

it is still too new.... i wish it was like a month and a half from now.... then i would know more.... maybe i would be able to be around the daughter by then

if i want him to go to my sisters wedding i should ask him pretty soon
jeans party is in like two weeks and i still dont know if he will get a sitter or not.

i am going to the cape to see sally for a few days and i am looking forward to it.
she has had a rough time lately and this is a tough time of year for her as well. i am so glad i contacted her to come visit. we have great talks and we both get alot out of it.

i emailed sharyn to see if she will be around for coffee as well... i hope so since we missed each other last time.

so i am here alone.... i am hungry.... and i have not heard from patrick ..... or anyone for that matter.
i am going to go make some bacon and watch tv :)