thought process

so here's my thought process
i am 'too much' for the realtor to handle right now
he is going thru alot with the loss of his mother and all the work stuff and will stuff and being a full time parent and although i seemed like a breath of fresh air two weeks ago, the hassle of life has stepped up about 17 notches and i am just a bother at this point.

yes he did call me back last night, later than i would think and we did talk but it was just going thru the motions, nothing touching or telling, and i think i really screwed up when i called back and he was still with his daughter.
i left a vm this morning at 11:30 when i went on the road to pick up josh, saying i was sorry to interrupt and i felt like a shit for doing that and for him to call me if he could.... i was out of service for most of the afternoon, rhode island has the worst service for at&t ever.... so if he did call, i did not get it and if he left a vm i did not get it.

different schools of thought here.... if he is not sick of me he will call eventually... so i wait... but i hate that
i could call again and invite him to dinner, i know he wont be able to go but i could still offer
i could call again and just leave a msg saying i was thinking of him and hoped he had a better day today than yesterday
i could not ever call again and hope that he calls me soon
i am certainly done emailing.... i dont get replies and he will be away from email for a week anyway.
i could call him and he could get really sick of me calling and never call back
or maybe all this is in my head and he does still really like me and it is just bad timing right now.

i am still torn why god would have me meet this guy who seems like a great match for me and then change the scenario so that it does not work out.
when i met him two weeks ago, he was crazy about me and contacted me everyday
somewhere along the line i started making first contact and now i am back where i started with all the rest of them

i told the realtor when i met him, if i have to call you and convince you that you should date me... it is probably not a good fit.

most likely, cause i know me, i will call after 5:30 and just say i made it home and ask him to dinner..... and if it is vm.... i think that will have to be it for me..... i think i will have to give up at that point.

how could this have seemed so fucking right 2 weeks ago. i had never been happier.... i had never met anyone like him..... dammit.