so i am slow, alright?

i figured something out
and yes, i am quite dim if i did not catch onto this already
so dont make fun of me for this

my breezy is fine when the last contact i had was good
my breezy is nonexistent if the last contact was not so good, or emails and vm not returned.

so that is why i was fine last night and today, the last contact was great.
if i did not hear from him till tomorrow it would not bother me because i know there is nothing wrong between us

by the way there has never been anything wrong between us, it was all in my head.... big surprise huh?

but when i email and there is no response i start to worry what i wrote was inappropriate or went to far
when i leave a vm and it is not returned i dont naturally think he must be busy, i think he does not want to talk to me.... well at least i dont think he is dead on the side of the road somewhere.... i guess there is not enough caring involved yet... i seem to only think people that are really close to me are dead or in the hospital.... hmm wonder why?


well, i checked my atm balance and i am officially broke... i have to have a talk with josh about things and hopefully we can work something out together.
i wish i made more money.... but i dont.
i love my job and where i work, i would not think of ever leaving.... but i just dont make enough money for the two of us...
i am really trying not to use the credit card.... been doing good for a few weeks now. but it will be time to pay the ortho soon and that is the only place i will be able to come up with the money this month. and i hope we dont want any more groceries than there are in the house right now.

i need more jewelry parties... that last one lasted me two weeks.... that was great!

off to do my hair.....