no grouchy today

i think i will just put my mood in the title box from now on....
i have been sleeping for shit these days
not sure why
but i am liking the routine again.
the cello has to go to school every other day, which to me means it will be there all week and he will have to practice on weekends... yeah right, that will happen! ha!
and if he makes the stage band then i think they practice twice a week so that one could come home more often. but i cant be driving him and picking him up every other day.... freakin cello.... why couldnt he play the violin???? oh yeah, cuz i hate the sound of a violin.....

so i really want to put things back on the realtor, just to see how really interested in me he is.
but that would mean me not calling or writing for a few days to see if he notices i am gone....
well i did not call again last night and he did not call
my email to him will be short and sweet, missed talking to you yesterday, hope you are well, i am changing my name from amy to patience.... how is that workin out for me??? ha!

i know how busy people work and i know how he works, he got my vm early in the day and probably was too busy to call and he got my missed call at 5. i am not going to be a pest and call again in the same day. my thought was that he either was doing last day of summer vacation stuff with his daughter or he was meeting with or dealing with the new kid problem... if he wanted to call me or could call me he probably would have.

like i said yesterday, i am prepared for any day now a call telling me he just does not have the time to give to a girlfriend and we should not be dating.
at least i am prepared for it.
ha! that is funny... i am prepared to hear the words, i am not prepared for the actions of the words.
from the first date with him it was just so comfortable, easy, similar personalities, attraction on both parts, the next day when he called me 3 times and then invited me over was fantastic, his daughter came back that day and since then she spent the night at her mothers once and a friends once and he called me to come be with him both times. he wanted to be with me.
when ever i call he always calls back... at some point i guess.
this all seemed so great at first, he would have about every 4th or 5th day off and we could see each other then, he could get a sitter for my party.... everything is just falling apart around me. i do want a boyfriend i can see all the time....but i dont have that.
maybe this will turn into that but i have no idea how long i have to wait until he lets me.
and will it be worth it when he finally does?
or will this infant age him and distance him from me even more?

patrick says the right guy for me will follow me around like a puppy.... not sure that i want that but to fall along the wayside because of too much other drama in their lives is not the route i wanted to take.