learning patience

so if i change my name to patience maybe it will help me... but i might not answer when people call for me

i have been up since 6:30 i got dressed and walked to price chopper to buy the stuff i need to make the two dishes for today and tomorrows parties.
i loaded the dishwasher and now i think i will take my shower

i have NOTHING going on until i get josh around 2:30 for the party
NOTHING
maybe i will go thru my mail
i tried calling the realtor but went right to vm so i just hung up, he already has a vm from last night and i think when it goes right to vm it is probably dead or off.
i will try again later, i am sure i will get vm then

i know he is worth the wait but i just wish i could talk to him more during the days that i dont see him, i am going to tell him this today when i talk to him
i think if i spoke to him longer than 5 minutes each day or even 5 minutes in the morning and 5 in the evening would be fine.
i just wish i could spend more time WITH him but i know that is not the case and it wont be for a while, that is where the patience comes in.
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so i am done with my shower.... now what
it is really not that bad, i have things that could keep me busy and that need to be done...and i am sure i will do some of them today

i think my biggest issues are these
1 how hard is it to remember to call me back
2 he might just be depressed about everything else and not feel like calling me back
3 if you dont feel like calling back the one good thing in your life... what does that say about the good thing
4 i sometimes wonder if he screens my calls, i hope not

i will reiterate i have no doubt that he is only seeing me, i just wish i could play a bigger part in his world than i do

off to paperwork that needs to be sorted.... i hate that job