i have to be breezy.... but it is so hard for me to be breezy
i wrote some emails to P about some bikes i heard about for sale... in the emails i made little jokes or innuendos... he finally read them today and did not read the whole emails, then deleted them. i was hurt by this. he apologized but what the hell? i spent the time to write it, why cant he spend the time to read it... i understand deleting emails as a habit at work... but i am not work.
i have come to realize that what i am looking for in a man does not exist... if he did, he would be perfect and no one is perfect.
sure i want someone totally into me and calling me and emailing me and seeing me... but that would be crazy because no one has the time to do all that all the time... sometimes it has to be initiated by the other person... sometimes it has to be mutual, not one more than the other.... it is crazy for me to have this notion in my head.... because it does not exist.
so i step back and look at this situation with the emails and i forgive him for deleting them because i am sure it wont happen again now that he knows i was hurt by it.
and i also forgive because no one is perfect... i am sure i have done thing that have slighted people in the past in error.
i cant hold this against him when this is all still so new....
i miss josh... it is weird to not have him around for this long.... not to hear from him.... i hope he is ok, i am sure he is, but i am still thinking about him.
2 comments:
So you go to a website designed for overworked/super busy people to find the perfect mate...and then?
If they weren't busy, they'd be out finding you somewhere in real life. Then they'd have time to be totally into you.
And hell, you're on that same super-busy list, so do you have the time to be totally into someone else?
I think the person you're looking for is out there, you just have to be patient. When I first met you and was single and didn't know about the age difference, I could have been totally into you.
Be patient and relax!
And keep being a good friend!
thank you patrick
it is nice to see a comment here,sometimes i feel like i am writing to a brick wall... ha!
i know i have to be patient... and relax... both hard to do for me.
if it is going to come, it will come, i should not have to try so hard, right?
thanks for your comments, you are a really great friend i am glad i have you!
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