monday

ok so this blog is like an addiction to me... i just have to write... several times a day apparently :)

monday am, apprehensive about work with the boss' mom situation, i think if anything happened over the weekend someone would have told me about it... i would hope...

last day of school for josh, after school he is going to ben's house to have a pool party.... i have to get him at 5 for his appointment with dan.

the last time new patrick and i spoke we talked about getting together monday or tuesday... monday is better for me, because of scouts, so who knows what will happen.
i did send him a text yesterday around 11am that said 'good morning, happy fathers day, enjoy your day with the boys'
cause that's how i roll... i did not hesitate at all this time, because if a friendly text like that is too much, then i am apparently too much as well.
so i just sent it away, out into space and did not worry or think twice or second guess myself at all. i thought so little of it, i forgot to blog about it yesterday!

there is a sort of peace that is inside me lately (yesterday and today) i cant explain it. just sort of calm, to go thru my day, not worry about new patrick at all, call when i feel like it later, let the chips fall where they may. devil may care attitude.... well maybe not all that, but i feel that if there is a connection there with him, and there may be ...it is hard to tell, then what i do at this point (post saying those things after jean's party) really is not a problem. if there is a connection, i will find out soon enough.
i want there to be one, but i certainly dont want to go thru 2 months of this hanging out to have there not be a connection.
so i guess my attitude was bound to change.
i like him alot and i am very very comfortable with him, and he with me... but i am waiting for the love connection i guess, something to show that he might be more into me than i can see with the naked eye.

i think i am holding myself off from feeling more, until i see it from him... like i said yesterday, more guarded after how i felt about scott so quickly... but guarded is a good thing.

maybe this slow and steady wins the race thing has some merit after all.