i was wrong

ok on the suggestion of (old) patrick i am going on the blog to say 'i was wrong'

new patrick called and made another date with me, and is looking forward to seeing me wednesday.... YAY!!!

actually i was not wrong because i did in fact scare him but not scary enough to scare him away totally... which is good
i was wrong in the sense that i sabotaged myself all weekend to think that he was done with me.... (but my gut instincts were right about him not calling because of his kids and that if he was going to call it would be monday after work)
but i am supposed to say here that i was wrong...
i was wrong to torture myself
i was wrong to not be ok with myself just the way i am, like saying things off the cuff... devil may care attitude

i am my worst enemy.....
things i have learned today
1 slow and steady wins the race
2 i can be wrong but still be ok with myself
3 pray pray pray but you have to believe in what you are praying for
4 be easy breezy (not covergirl though)

i was so ready to just have to start all over again, not with the old ones like scott and frank... but start from scratch.... but i am glad i dont have to start over right now.... i want to give this time to grow (if it is going to grow) and see where it takes us. i have to be much more breezy and realize that he is not exclusive with me and that is ok since it is still so new. he is not seeing anyone else he is just not ready to turn the claddagh around....
i am glad i dont have to start all over again....

today i thank god for my friends because they are wonderful wonderful friends who are always there for me.... jean and (old) patrick, jenny at church and jenny my counselor, gloria and don.... everyone who reads this blog and shares how they feel whether they call me or post a comment... i know that i have a great group of friends who really do care about me.
THANK YOU!!!!