stinking thinking

here i go again....thinking.... i should never do that... it only leads me to ruin.
so here is what i am looking at.... F and S apparently have gone away.... and i am not sure how i feel about this
if i felt better about P i think i would be happier but last night
P skimmed my emails and deleted them, so he did not even read every word i wrote or bother to reply. true we have been talking on the phone and he knew that i would be calling again after 9. he did make a comment like well that is nice but we can say those things on the phone just as easy.... and i added 'after 9'.
when i was talking to him around 7:30 i asked if i could call him back and he said 'yea, you are at&t and i am verison and the texting and sure you can call me after 9'
i made a comment like 'you better do something about that cause i am not going anywhere anytime soon' but he did not reply to that.
when i did call him at 9 it was fine, just chit chat, that is when he told me he had deleted my emails with out reading them thru.... i sounded hurt but i told him that was fine, i understand... but i dont really. i suppose i can see how someone who deals with emails all day long thinks that they have the ability to scan the important parts.... whatever.
so now i am feeling slighted... and it may just be a mistake. when we got off the phone he said so i will see you at your place on thursday at 6:30 and i asked if we could talk tomorrow and he said sure, but he hesitated...
i guess i just dont know what to feel.... am i bugging him, or is he enjoying me? sometimes it is hard to tell. i have only known him a week so this is all so new.
i guess i was just hoping to meet someone and have an immediate connection (like i did with S) but have the whole relationship stuff just fit into place. P is a much better contender, he is funny and nice and handsome and not an alcoholic and employed.... all the great things about a guy.... he is also not too far away and has his own place without roommates or relatives....
i am just going to lay back today.... if i have no contact with him up until 9pm then i will call, since i have to stay on nights and weekends apparently....
but i dont think i will hear from him.
it is always me.... making the calls, making the plans.....
maybe the man that i attract likes that sort of girl.... hmmmm